blue dark.

Jack is having an afternoon snooze and I told myself I would do my workout now but instead I'm on my MacBook Air, watching old episodes of Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami and eating a graham cracker.  Oh, and also enjoying a ice cold glass of detox water drink stuff- I've been downing it all week.  60 ounces of water with 2 tablespoons of sugar-free cranberry juice, 1 tablespoon of lemon juice and a bag of dandelion root tea.  It tastes like lemon water with an after taste of shit.  Who in the hell drinks dandelion root tea?  Those who wish to promote healthy liver function or those (like me) who wish to banish excess water weight.  Jillian Michaels seems to think if you drink it for 7 days, you'll lose 5ish pounds of water weight.  We'll see.  Jillian is evil and very well could be playing a trick on me.  

I used to cook almost every evening but this summer it's just been too hot.  I make things with cheese, flour, heavy cream, pasta, hearty soups, cornbread, curry, and more cheese.  Too hot to eat these things.  Last night I made tortellini with and basil artichoke garlic sauce for the boys.  I had a lovely kale salad with lemon.  This week I also made broccoli with toasted pine nuts and lemon, roasted garlic and olive oil, sauteed spinach, carmelized baby carrots, garlic bread, and chicken.  Now we know that Jack LOVES broccoli.  It's funny the things that make me happy these days.  

I need a night.  Like at the Mont or something.  Margaritas, swirls, club specials, wine.  I don't suggest all in one night, i'm sure i've done it before though.  I need to wear something cute, take my hair out of this ponytail and meet up with friends or a friend.  Husband would be invited but someone's got to watch the baby.  This pretend night would not involve any talk about boy/girl drama, what you do at work that nobody cares about, no baby talk, and no bullshit in general.  Topics to consider: music, fashion, funny internet things, Ryan Gosling's body, and making fun of people.  I need to be around fun and funny people.  I used to get all my fun from my BFF, Dave, but he's married and a stay at home daddy now so he's very, very busy.  although he does text me something hilarious at least once a day or every other day.  OR.  I need people to play music with.  Just hanging out, playing some jams on the back porch.  I used to have friends to do that with but they've decided that I'm not cool anymore or something.  

This blog has turned into a desperate cry for friends or something sad.  It has, hasn't it?  I have friends, I just never see anyone.  Everyone is busy.  Everyone lives far away.  I can't go out without a babysitter.  And my friends apparently think i'm the most awkward person on the face of the planet.  Maybe I'm not that awkward, maybe I don't know how to have a conversation that is solely about you, your job, your life, your problems and how I can help you fix them.  I'm that friend, the one who takes care of everyone but the one nobody invites out to do the fun stuff.  The one that friends only call when they're driving in their car because they have absolutely nothing else to do.  Feeling sorry for yourself seems to be the only reasonable thing to do when you're drinking this detox water stuff.  

And to be fair, I've been missing my brothers, Hannah, and my dad a lot lately so maybe that's the source of my loneliness.  Or, you know, maybe not.  maybe it's you, not me.

Don't worry, I'm not sad and depressed or anything, it's more like I'm Patrick Swayze in Ghost.  Jack is Whoopi Goldberg because he's the only person who knows i'm here.  That would make my friends Demi Moore.  Only 2 of my friends read this stuff, one of which is living in Mexico and the other one-  I see her often and she's fabulous.  She just babysat Jack the other night.  Eternally grateful.

Time to wake the chicken.  Have a nice Thursday and think of me while you're sipping your drinks in good company.  Be nice to your friends.  Brush your teeth before you go to bed.  Don't try this detox drink until I'm done-  there's no sense in both of us suffering until we know if it works.  Now that's a true friend.  Now, excuse me, I have to pee for the 10,000th time today.  Water, green tea, detox water, water, green tea, detox water, repeat.

♥  jp
 ps-  this is how i make myself laugh most days.  ----> whenparentstext.com