Lately I've been struggling with a question most people know before they are my age. I thought I knew when I was a kid- a ballerina. That changed into "working in film." Somewhere in my mid-twenties that changed to photography. Music is something that I would choose over any of these things but the older I get, the more tied down with grown-up things I become, the less of a realistic option that is. I have accepted that and while I will always keep it in my heart and my dreams, it's time to move on. Never did I ever think I would be a stay-at-home mother. It's by far the most challenging "job" I've ever had with much less gratitude and appreciation although it's also a fine luxury not afforded to everyone. Jack is now 3.5 and I feel like it's time for me to find something that makes me happy. I've considered studying to become a personal fitness trainer. Does that sound stupid? I'm never going to be a lawyer like my brothers or a doctor or a movie star so I might as well focus on something I have a genuine interest in and build a life outside of being a mommy and a wife. I also love doing nail art and that's something I've considered too. A friend of mine (who owns a salon and is a manicurist) has encouraged me numerous times to pursue a career in the beauty industry but I guess it's hard for me to take compliments and advice- frequently feeling like people are just being nice. I love working in the arts and if I could find a job that would allow me to work with artists or promote arts in Oklahoma, I would do it in a heartbeat. That's another thing- when you're out of the working community for 4 years, I can see where it would be challenging to find a fulfilling job and someone out there to hire you.
Essentially I have been working. I have daily and weekly duties that take a great sense of communication, multi-tasking, and the biggest responsibility I will ever know. Really, it made me grow up a lot. But, I have a multitude of talents and strengths and I sometimes feel like I'm wasting it all away when I could be using it to change the world. Or at least change a few people's lives.
Or maybe I should just run away with the circus.
I do love our Mommy/Baby/Special Days though. Tomorrow is one of those days. Jack wants to do "craft."
Still dying over Prima Creative. Loving the floral nail art- i haven't tried it yet though. Maybe soon!
Absolutely dying over The New Black The Digital Underground by Christina Rinaldi. (the genius behind Prima.)
I want all of these sets of polishes so bad!
above: my favorite nails from this weekend.
below: my second favorite from this weekend.
(I change them up a lot.)
Took Jack to the Walkmen concert on the lawn of the art museum last night. We went by The Library (the one with food and drinks, not the actual library) and Jack had his first big pretzel. Walked back to watch the band and Jack danced in the lights and then struck some quick poses for me. What a sweetie pie.
Music. I recorded an album at home. It's up on my bandcamp page for free download.
Sunday I'm deleting all the songs but it'll be up until then.
♥
jp
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