Tigers Love Pepper

A what we believe to be "random" home burglary set our much awaited Vegas trip back a few weeks- but we finally made it. My BFF and I took Baby to his grandparents the day before Husband and I flew away to uninterrupted, baby-free paradise. So- I am scared of flying. I've been on planes since I was a little baby girl but flying anxiety set in about 5 years ago. I feel like I can't breathe, I feel nauseous, I panic. We left in the afternoon last Thursday and everything went as planned. Didn't wait at the airport too long, no bumpy rides, no panic. I read magazines (one of my favorite things to do) and had a tomato juice on ice during the ride. My dad always ordered a tomato juice when flying so I always did too- still do, I guess.
We arrived in Denver and had a 2 hour-ish layover. Checked out the Sunglass Hut, bought nothing but lusted after a pair of Stella McCartneys. I didn't buy them because I thought I might find another pair I loved more once we got to Vegas- never did. Oh well.
We stayed at Paris Las Vegas and it was perfect. The air was cold and well oxygenated, the sky (ceiling) was the perfect blue, streaked with wispy clouds. Check in was fast and easy and our room was spacious and cool. Surprise set in when I noticed how many people thought it was a good idea to bring infants and toddlers to Las Vegas casino hotels. The lobbies filled with smoke, the drinking, gambling, and general mayhem young folks with little clothing on were causing, and the pushing and shoving of the crowded walkways were no place for babies. Having a child myself, I will never understand.
After a long day of travel, you don't feel ready to face fun. We were pretty tired- time change and all- and the air was significantly dryer than in Oklahoma. We took showers and tried to rally but it didn't work for long. Ate at a little cafe in the hotel and then took a cruise around the strip on foot.


Also drank a little at a hotel bar. In Oklahoma, we call this "Rally-ing."
Paid the million dollar tab for 2 bud lights. Six dollars a bottle. Hey Vegas! Did you know Budweiser is domestic? We don't care, we'll drink it and we'll pay it- we were just wondering.
Don't think Husband meant to make me wear an Eiffel Tower hat, but I like the picture anyway.
The next morning we woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed. Ate at the all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet and had one bloody mary a piece and it was $50. Not to keep bringing up the money spent but seriously- the food was cold and dead and so I mostly ate fruit and half of a bagel. Also, they don't know what real gravy is. They need more Oklahomans working there.

We spent the day shopping and bathing in the sun by the pool. Husband and I had agreed that this vacation was for relaxation purposes only and didn't want to try and cram every activity into every day spent there. We stuck to our guns and it was fantastic.

Do you guys watch Holly's World? I do. It follows Holly Madison (Girls Next Door? Hugh Hefner's ex?) around Vegas as she stars in Peepshow and deals with her fame, friends, and boy drama. Anyway. Her Alice in Wonderland type burlesque show was playing a casino over at Planet Hollywood so I insisted we get tickets! It was funny and sweet and had lots of naked boobs, so I knew Husband would like it also. He did. He also sweet talked his way into getting us better seats for the price of zero dollars. Front row, baby.

This is the dress I wore that night. It's black, has ruffles, and is comfortable = I love it.

Husband may kill me for posting this picture of him but just to let you know- I heavily encouraged him to pose this way. The poster is of Josh, who also stars in Holly's World, and I know how much Joshy annoys Husband. Therefore, it's funny.
Saturday morning we headed for the Forum Shops in Caesar's Palace. The sun beat down on us like Bobby Brown but the air was so dry it barely felt hot at all. *people always say- it's hot there but not like Oklahoma hot because it's so dry- and it's completely true. it wasn't ever uncomfortable. The sky was blue and the traffic- heavy.

We mazed ourselves into the Forum and found a place for lunch. That place was the f'n Cheesecake Factory. I know. I'm all for not eating at places you can eat at home- out of town but seriously, it was the only place we could find where you could sit down. It was delicious, I'm not going to lie. I had a roasted pear and endive salad. Blue cheese made an appearance. I was satisfied.
I bought a denim jacket at the Gap and that's really all I found that I was interested in. I know- crazy. Went to Anthropology- nothing. Marc f'n Jacobs- eh, even more nothing. But I had a nice time wandering around. We headed back to our hotel for some pooltime.
Me, my jacket, and Caesar's.

Delicious poolside drinks.
View from the pool.

That night we didn't have any plans. We made last minute reservations at Mon Ami Gabi, a nice little restaurant with a patio area overlooking the strip. I decided to dress casual as i didn't know what was in store for the night. Jeans, tank, heels- pictured below.
Husband is handsome on the patio, huh?
Below is Husband eating his dinner. It moo-ed at me when he cut into it. It looked and smelled so good. God, I miss steak.
Husband's rib-eye w/ au gratin potatoes and green beans.
I ordered the vegetable platter. The only thing I could order. But it was good. REALLY good. Eggplant, tomatoes, creamed squash and garlic, portobello and corn something, and assorted beans. Plus a dirty Stoli martini, straight up.


Afterwards, we lingered around the casino. I spotted the Kenny Rogers penny slot machine and decided I must play it. I won a whole 26 pennies. Well worth it. Thanks, Kenny.


I quickly lost the entire dollar twenty-six on the unicorn machine. Yes, unicorn slot machine- of course I played it. Tried to play the wolf machine first but it was broken.

Do you know me at all? Do you know I love anything-but-practical shoes? Gold. Sparkly. Very tall. Just my speed. Some people like to buy magnets or shot glasses as souvenirs, I like to buy a nice fragrance and shoes from the places I visit. I also purchased Fresh Cannabis Santal on this trip. It's actually a men's fragrance but it smells so delicous, I bought it for myself. I'm not scared.

Um, Hello Cheri Curry a la Runaways era shoes. Je t'aime.
Sunday night, our last night in town, I decided to take my new love out for a spin. Black leather jacket seemed like the right piece to pair with my beloved gold sparkle shoes.
We had tickets to see Zumanity at New York, New York. Husband and I arrived by taxi early enough to wander around, take some photos, eat chips and salsa and drink a margarita. My margarita had Red Bull in it. I hate Red Bull but I was becoming very tired, very quickly.
My nightmare and Husband's dream. Look at all of that juicy goodness. This would be my last meal if I could choose one. I would eat it now but it would surely kill me. Maybe not kill me dead but I would be so sick for 3 days I would wish I were dead.

The red bull margarita I speak of.
This is one of two pictures of Husband and I together, the whole trip. The other picture I hated so it will not be seen online. And that's final.

Zumanity was so awesome! The "sensual side of cirque du soleil" or whatever is what it's billed as. Amazing. It's heavy on crowd interaction and we had front row sofa tickets, so we were hugged up on a couch and messed with a lot. I was the first person the MC singled out and have a nice polaroid picture to remember the moment.

The trip was great and relaxing. Except- on our second night, I was in a bathroom in the casino and a crying baby was in a stall with his momma. A woman was washing her hands and kept looking at me and frowning with a look of sympathy for the struggling mom in the stall. I halfway frowned and smiled (it's possible) back and she admitted to me that she has 2 boys of her own at home and the sound of the crying baby made her miss her babies. I admitted my own lonesomeness for my baby and we both agreed that we wished we could do something to help the mother in the stall- because we'd both been there before- trying to manage a screaming baby in a public place, bathroom in particular. A stall opened up and I went in and instead of peeing, of cried for a couple of minutes, longing to hear Baby say "wuv you" and nuzzle his head into my neck and fall asleep.

And people- I wasn't even drunk. Did I mention I didn't even get drunk the entire time I was in f'n Las Vegas?! Hmm. I guess I really have grown up. Anyway. I wasn't drunk and I was crying in the stall of a really nice bathroom in Vegas because I missed That Baby. Here's my point- don't bring your baby or your toddler to Vegas because it's going to make me miss my baby so much that I cry several times at one glance of little baby feet and because it's TOO SMOKEY FOR BABIES TO BE THERE!

The journey home was easy and I took some pictures of the flight back to the best place on earth= Oklahoma.
Flying Over Desert.
Flying in Heavenly Clouds.
Flying over Denver in a Thunderstorm.
Flying Through Sunset.

We made it home, safe and sound. Thank you to my in-laws for keeping the baby and making sure he had a wonderful time while we were away. Thank you to Kelli for housesitting and taking care of our sick Lucy dog and feeding the annoying back porch cats. Thank you to my momma for reading my I-miss-the-baby text messages and responding quickly and compassionately. Thank you to Husband for making our trip relaxing, fun, romantic, and memorable.

Vegas, I'll see you in May 2011 for my 30th birthday.

xo,

jp