You Give Me Fever.

It's late. I'm awake. My right ear hurts.Can't breathe through my nose. Sinus pressure. Snuck out of bed to clean up Jack's toys in the living room and start the dishwasher. See? Productive even with a fever. Glancing occasionally at Sixteen Candles on TV in between browsing blogs and online shopping sites. Waiting for this week to pass so this sickness will pass. Jack has been home from school all week- he is the little monster who got me sick. But I don't mind. In the middle of the night, when your baby is coughing and crying for you, you hold him. You let him cough and breathe in your face. You don't even care when he sneezes on you. You repeatedly wipe a stream of snot away with something called a "boogie wipe." (i didn't think i would ever buy those things but i swear, they're pretty handy when you have sick babies.) Things that sound disgusting before you have kids are things you don't even think twice about once you have them. 

Jack started on medicine yesterday and today seems to be an improvement. Even though Jack is my best buddy, I think we both need to see a little sunshine and get out of the house. Maybe spend a little time apart even. We need adventure.

Jack was happy when Aunt Hannah came to town! 

We took Jack to Local for the first time a few weeks ago and he loved it. We checked him into "Localville" and it was a HUGE hit. Local is one of our favorite places to eat and/or drink here in Norman, Oklahoma. Localville is a fun place the kids can play and eat (supervised of course!) while you enjoy dinner with friends or a date night or whatever. It's the most brilliant idea. 

Husband had a birthday recently. We stayed in a suite at The Mayo in Tulsa. Can I live there, please?  My mom told me a sweet story about how my grandma and grandpa stayed there once when she was a child and they brought back stationary for her. She loved to look at it- there was a picture or drawing maybe? of the building on the paper. Thinking about my mom as a child (Baby Susan as I like to call her) is so adorable. I need to scan some pictures of Baby Susan so you can see what I mean. I swiped the notepad from our room to give to her but- there is no picture of the building. 

Also, I'm pretty sure that place is haunted. 

It's been a few weeks but I went on a little trip with my dad. We flew to LA to visit my brothers and sisters-in-law. We didn't rush around. Didn't stay out late. We didn't even get drunk once. We ate delicious food, went to a cemetery that smelled like dead people, took a tour of Paramount, drove to San Diego, and saw Django Unchained at Q. Tarantino's theatre. It was awesome. Of course I missed my boys- this was the first time I've been away from both of them at the same time for longer than a day. I will say- it was pretty relaxing not having to take care of anyone else though. I appreciate the little things, folks.

Ok, I think maybe I got a little buzz from drinking a flight of beer at this place.
(Pathetic, Brooke. Get your shit together, girl.)

This is my dad. His favorite things to talk about are art, traveling, history, and death. And his grandchildren.
And Facebook.

Ok. Time to raid the medicine cabinet for something that will make my fever go away.

Toodles.

♥ jp

Kick It Down

My Christmas tree is still up, folks.  

I've been playing with my new toy.

You can listen to some songs and download them for free!

Hudson Roar

I am going to record at a real studio when I have the time.

Later this month or early February I'm hoping.

In the meantime-  my makeshift kitchen MacBook Air Garageband studio it is!

I'm writing new songs. 

I don't want to sound all singer/songwriter-y.

I mean, I think I always will a little bit but I don't want that to be my "genre."

Sometimes I think I want to find people to play with me.

Other times I remember that everyone who has ever played in a band with me says I'm difficult.

I think I'm a little bossy sometimes.

Or all the times.

It's just that I don't like wasting time, I just want to get down to bizniz.

I'm currently figuring out how to set up to play these songs by myself with my computer, keyboard, and guitar.

I'm thinking my ukulele needs to make an appearance at some point.

Or maybe I'll just record all the parts myself and leave it at that.

No shows.

We'll see.

And hey, Haters.

I didn't get a new guitar for Christmas.

I posted a picture of my brother's new, awesome guitar and people thought I got a new Gretsch.

I can barely play the one I have.

So thank you for calling me a spoiled brat.

I am spoiled.

I'm not denying it or apologizing for it. 

I also appreciate everything I have and I'm more worried about being a kind human and a good friend than I am about the mean things you say about me.

I've been struggling with relationships lately.  Some of my friends have expressed their jealousy of my lifestyle and I guess I don't understand what the hell that means.  I'm 30 years old.  I'm not playing who has the better whatever with anyone.  I refuse to feel bad that I have a new car and, you know, whatever else it is that makes people mad that I have.  Husband, Jack and I try to enjoy our life everyday.  Husband works very, very hard everyday- it's 24/7 at his job- and on top of that, we are really, really lucky.  We go out occasionally but mostly like to stay home, play with toys, watch Thunder games, cook, watch kids movies, and hang out with a few close friends.  That's what happens when you have a kid, you guys.  We're tired all the time.  Dude, we have a mortgage, piles of laundry, busy schedules, and we're currently in the middle of a potty training crisis.  In no way do I think my life (life with a kid) is more important than anyone else's life (life without a kid.)  It's just different.  So realize that and quit treating me like I'm a stuck up asshole.  I'm not.  I've only ever tried to be kind, caring, and non-judgemental towards the people I love and admire.  Lately it seems I've been mistaken about other people's view of my friendship.  I'm always here when you have problems and jobs and boys and girls to cry about-  but you know-  I'm here when you aren't crying and sad too.  I clean up poopy Jack diapers, ok?  I'm not here to clean up everyone else's shit.  

Thanks for listening, guys.  The last thing I wish to say about this is-  I'm happy.  So be happy for me.  I won't be here for you forever, my sweets.  

I think I need to get out more and make some new friends.  

That reminds me-  Ashley, my dear -  we need to sign up for yoga!  (I'm thinking maybe if I put it out there, in publictheinternetwhatever, I won't back out of it.)  

I'll get back to making sweet music magic.

Have a lovely day and remember to be thankful and kind.

Because it's just nice.

♥ jp

return to the wild

pander king.

At some point I'll get back to actually writing about stuff on here.

We've all been sick.

(we're almost all better, thanks.)

Been reading children's books and eating lime sherbet w/sprite with the kid.

My phone needs a phone doctor.

The camera apps have all gone crazy so when we were in Nashville, I only got a couple of pics.

Also left my Nikon at home, all packed up and charged.

Why do I do it.

Jack at the Ryman with crazy hair.

Maybe he'll play on that stage someday.

A mother can only hope.

Grammy and Big T bought him a little guitar to add to his collection of guitars.

He insisted on sitting by Minnie Pearl.

He threw about 30 dollars worth of coins into water fountains while we were in Nashville.

Look on the bright side.

At least he didn't crawl in for a swim.

Regretting not buying this dress.  

I know.

JUST BUY THE DAMN DRESS already, Jaguar Paw.

(like my socks?)

It's hard to buy things for myself.

I didn't have that problem before I was someone's mommy.

No worries!

I finally found the new Prada and fell in love.

It's called Candy.

(calorie-free candy!)

I bought it.

Yay for Mommy!

you go, girl.

If you steal it from me, I will kill you.

Just so on the fence about these bangs.  

I like them.

I like them not.

I like them.

I like them not.

I like them?

My chicken is almost rid of his sickness.  

I let him stay home from school one more day because he said he 

"weally want to stay wis mommy today."

He knows how to turn on the cute to get what he wants.

Did he get that from mommy or daddy?

One last thing.  Jack says he's the pander king.  I think that's like king of all panda bears but I'm not sure.

♥ jp

Mr. ♥ Mrs.

This old Hallmark box sitting on my table doesn't look like anything special, it's hunter green with pictures of Christmas cards on the front.  Inside are 34 pieces of treasure.  I pick up the first one and it feels as if it may crumble in my hands.  I carefully navigate a piece of faded brown paper, which has been folded twice to make it the size of an index card, out of the torn edge of a tattered envelope.  There's a three cent stamp and two addresses on the front of the envelope-  Box 721, Dewar, Okla. and Mrs. John H. Work, Boswell, Okla.  

The ink that was probably once black in 1940 has settled into a deep navy, strewn in perfectly straight lines of magic.  It's not like bunny in a hat magic.  The kind that Little Girl Jaguar Paw daydreamed about finding someday-  I'm not talking about the last unicorn although I did daydream about that as well.  You know, the kind of thing the greats wrote poetry about.  The thing all of my favorite songs are written about.             ...shoot, the thing I write all of my songs about.  

Today I'm sharing two letters from my Paw Paw to his darling.  My grandma.  She misses him every day.  She still wears his glasses even though they're broken.  One of his shirts hangs in her armoire at the nursing home.  

Be thankful for the time you have with the people you love.

September 18, 1940

Dewar, Okla.

My Darling Hiahwahnah:

I'm so lonesome for you. Golly- It seems like I love you more and more every day. I want to see you so badly. If I can get any money, I will be down this week and I think mother and Robbie are both broke. I wish there was some way for you to come up here.

I went hunting yesterday afternoon with Peck and Monk. We left here about 3:00 and went out east of here about 16 miles. We walked the birds up until the sun started going down and then went to a pond and waited for them to fly in to water. We got 42.

Last night Peck and R. and I went to the show. We saw "I love You Again"- with Myrna Loy and Will Powell. It was a swell picture. If I ever get a chance, I'm going to see it again.


I'm going in to see a guy about a job in a little while. This afternoon I have to make some signs advertising R.'s football team. R. thinks they are going to win all of their games this year. I hope they do.


We are invited to Aunt Daisy's tonight for supper. She said she wished so much that you were here and could come too. So do I. Russell and Aunt Daisy all think so much of you. They say I'm a darn lucky guy to get a girl like you. I know I'm lucky. You are so sweet and beautiful and good. I love you bunches and more than anything on earth. Please darling, don't ever stop loving me.


Gee! I'm so glad that we are married. I will be perfectly happy just as soon as we start living together. Be a good girl and remember, no love scenes in that play.


                                                                                                            All my love,
                                                                                                            John

Paw Paw, Grams, and my Uncle John

(photo taken somewhere around 1944 I'm guessing.)

Dewar, Okla.

September 24, 1940

My Darling Hiahwahnah:

I was so glad to receive your letter this morning.  I was awfully worried about you.  Geepers-  I'm so much in love with you.  You are all I can think of.  I couldn't go to sleep last night because I kept thinking about you and wanting you bunches.

I am enclosing a clipping from the Okmulgee paper about our marriage.  I thought you might like to have it and show it to your folks.

It is now 10 min. until four o'clock.  I guess you are leaving school for the day or getting ready to leave.  I wish I was out in front of the building waiting for you.  Darling, doesn't it seem like a long time until Friday?  I can hardly wait to see you.

I'm so awfully much in love with my wife.  I think you are the most beautiful girl on earth.  You are so darn sweet and precious.  I wish you were here now.  It is cloudy and almost cold.  I have the fire turned on.  If you were here I would take you to bed with me and hold you close in my arms and kiss you bunches and be awfully fresh.  Do you think you would like that?

We are having supper with Aunt Daisy tonight.  Afterwards R. and I are going up to Mr. Lamb's to play bridge with Mr. Lamb and Pick.  He (Mr. Lamb) said that if we would come, he would serve ice cream and cokes.

R. just came in with one of his football players who he believes has a broken arm.  He wants me to take him to the doctor.  Guess I better hurry.  The darn kid looks like he's going to faint.  -Be a sweet girl and write me lots. 

                                                                                                       All my love,

                                                                                                       John

It's Thanksgiving and I'm thankful love exists in the world.  And that my Paw Paw told my Grams he wanted to get "fresh" with her.  Giggles.
♥ jp

velvet.

I love dressing Jack for fall weather.

He's been saying "I love you...  sooo much, mommy."

I love that too.

I've been TAMing hardcore everyday and eating healthy this past week so TGISunday.  Diet and exercise do not exist today.  Sundays are for being lazy, eating pizza, and watching movies.  

I went to Salon Zen to get shellac on my nails but made a last minute decision change and went with an OPI pink shade with the gold shattered on top.  Ashley, a friend of mine and an owner of Zen, did a great job!  I loved it...  until I messed it up by touching nail polish remover the next day by accident.  (damn.  i KNEW i should have gone with shellac.)  Sigh...  Well, it was lovely for 24 hours and Salon Zen is always a pleasure to be at.  I recommend Moreen for hair and Ashley for nails.  

I got tons of compliments on the pink and gold combo.

After demolishing my pretty paint job, I started over at home.  I used a peachy/pink/coral from Ulta and layered Sephora's copper glitter polish on top.  Not quite the same but I do love sparkle.

Quick question.  I'm thinking of going back dark, dark (but not black) brunette.  Any thoughts?  Still wanting to go shorter...  thoughts?  

How annoying can I be.

How adorable is this picture?

Jack loves his new kitties.

Hope you had a fun weekend.

Let's not talk about the OU game.

Let's plan something fun for this week.

♥ jp

cat power.

Lynx stealthily cruises the house, petting herself on pieces of furniture.  When I say her name, she runs at full speed from across the living room and dives her whole body up my leg.  OMG.  This cat gives running hugs like Jack!  This will prove amusing in the coming months.  Something about fall and winter.  Chili, butternut squash lasagna, delicious heavy beer, wine, soft throws, comfy sweaters, spicy vanilla and pumpkin candles, roaring fires, netflix, and cuddle cats.  Leo has just emerged from his hiding spot in the linen cabinet.  He walked by the table and gave me a nudge with the side of his beige-y amber head as he made his way to find the litter box.  He likes me, I just know it.

My friends, Dave and Devon, are moving to Japan and had to make the difficult decision to leave 2 of their cats behind.  I had offered to take them a while back but I was too late.  They already had a new home.  It's sad it didn't work out with the other family but I think they will be great here.  Jack told everyone at school this morning that he gets new cats today.  He's very excited, a little concerned though.

You may remember my dear Jackson kitty.  He was my best friend for almost 10 years and it's been over a year since he's been gone.  I still miss that damn cat every day.  Before the new cats arrived this morning, I got teary thinking about my Jaxie.  I started to worry that maybe I wasn't ready for cat friends, that it might make me even more sad because my beloved cat is gone.  No cat friend can replace him (especially because he saw me through everything in my 20's and that will never be replicated! thank the lord.)  but I'm hoping Leo and Lynx will be my happy little buddies.  I forget how it feels to have animals roaming the house-  it makes me feel calm, happy, and safe.  Why safe?  No idea.  I always feel safe when Jack is home with me too-  like if someone comes to break in again, he'll go all HELL NO on them.  Oh, giggling thinking about it.

-Re-upload Maddox photos for the 3rd time and hope it works this time.

-Work my ass off with Tracy Anderson.  (baby-food-like detox diet this week.  ugh.)

-Mat and frame Angela's piece for the art show.

-Clean the office.

-Pick Jack up from school and hope he's been a good boy all day.

-Call Grams.

-Order Husband's costume.  (whether he likes it or not!)  

-Work on my Sweet Action Paradise book.  I'm having the blog printed like a hardback book so Jack can have it when he's older.   I've been formatting and moving and tinkering and blah!  It's time consuming and a pain in my ass.

I've got lots of little things to do today so I'd better quit my ramblin.  

Call or text me if you feel like hanging out this evening/tonight.

♥ jp

Hiahwahnah loves John.

Grandpa.

My grandma says on the way home from the doctor's office, she pounded his chest, uncontrollably sobbing and yelling at him.  Grandpa later told my Great Uncle Robbie that he felt a great sense of pride when she reacted that way.  She had been telling him for a long time to go to the doctor, to get check-ups, to take care of himself.  Being a typical male, my grandpa put it off.  Now he had cancer that had spread all over and she didn't want to see him to go.  She was mad and hurt.  

During my weekly visits to the nursing home, she tells me how much she misses him every single day.  That she thinks of him often and wishes she could talk to him, wishes she could see him.  That she doesn't know how she found such a great man to love her, to be patient with her completely impatient personality, and wonders out loud what she did to deserve him.  

She asked me to imagine being next to someone for 51 years and one day they're just gone.  Tears pushed against the walls of my eyelids but I took deep breaths to push them back for fear I would upset her.  I know she's lonely.  We often daydream together-  I will win the lottery and build a big house with a nice, big room and wheelchair accessible bathroom.  She'll have private home healthcare and we'll catch up every day and eat Hershey's Kisses and drink root beer.  On special occasions, or just because, we would listen to music and she would do her cute shoulder dance, the one she's done for years.  

I always worried that in the years to come, I wouldn't quite remember her stories by heart or I would forget the details that make them special but then I realized when I can't sleep at night, I close my eyes and think of arriving at her house when I was a child.  I've done it for years without realizing it was a habit I guess.  

Grams.

The trip to her house in Durant in the back of a station wagon, mom listening to music on the way, pulling up onto the broken concrete driveway, our pretend "grenades" dropped from the big magnolia tree limbs hanging above, Grandma would be waiting on the front porch for us to arrive, the sound of the front door opening, the faint sweet smell of tobacco, walking through the dining room, past the nutcracker on top of the built-in bench with hidden storage and past the china cabinet, to the breakfast nook in the kitchen where Grandpa read the paper.  Eating potato chips out of a wooden salad bowl before bedtime was a ritual for me.  Small winding wooden staircase to the attic which led to dusty old games like chinese checkers and Don't Spill the Beans. Grams' and Grandpa's hats hanging in the hallway before you pass the pantry door and the buffet with the stained glass lamp and photos on top. I spent a lot of time sewing and making crafts in the back room.  Playing dress up with my cousins.  Got my first perm in that kitchen by my Aunt Merrilee.  Made candles out of crayons and holiday sugar cookies with my Mom.  Shaved my legs for the first time sitting on the edge of the green claw foot tub.  Piano and neat treasures in the study.  Always looked forward to people watching while on the porch swing with my brothers and cousins.  Swinging as high as we could and frequently getting in trouble for hitting the back of the swing on the house.  I remember feeling so safe and comfortable sleeping on a little fold out sleeper with crisp, fresh sheets and that big, fluffy floral and white comforter in the front bedroom, the walls covered in pink floral fabric.  It would be so quiet at night, we would whisper and giggle to each other until we fell asleep to the distant sound of the train.  It's funny how I remember wondering where the train was going and where it had come from and I still think the same thing when I hear a far away whistle of a train from my house.

Please don't forget what treasures your grandparents are.  Remember that they've lived through a lot, seen a lot, accomplished many things, had good times and bad times.  There's a lot of interesting things to learn about older people if you just ask.  Sometimes they get lonely because no one really talks to them about anything besides medical problems.  Just the other day, my Grandma told me a story about having a couple too many highballs at Grandpa's cousin's house and being sick all the way home.  Giggles...   

And I love that my son loves his Nana.  When I take him to visit, he likes to wheel her to the dining hall and then he doesn't want to leave.  Very, very sweet.

♥  jp

like lightning in my heart.

This room is by no means done but i finally decided on something for the walls.  I'd like to start hunting for a cool headboard, something with tufted velvet perhaps.  I love velvet, gold, vintage, sparkle, masculine with regal, feminine pieces, flashes of tiger, cheetah, or leopard print, chandeliers, charcoal and cream, displayed jewelry, fake fur throws, big pillows, and NO OVERHEAD LIGHTING.  I have always hated overhead lighting-  pendant, chandelier, recessed and track lighting excluded.  Can't wait to lay on the bed and watch HBO on a neatly mounted flatscreen on Sunday nights while eating popcorn and enjoying a completely finished bedroom.  (it's a lot brighter in the bedroom than the cave-like picture shows.)

Would I ever do the chevron print again?  You would have to pay me quite a bit to do that tedious measuring, taping, painting and painting again.  My back hurts, my hands hurt, my head hurts.

Yesterday I had a cut and color.  Just had a teeny bit trimmed because for now, I'm going to continue to grow it.  The cut looks and feels fantastic.  I like the color-  but i just like it alright.  I was looking for something a little more dramatic-  I mean, if you know me, you know I'm not scared of serious change when it comes to fashion and beauty.  Going in, my hair was already lighter at the tips, just a natural summer fade.  (pic above is after leaving the salon)  The gradient effect is very slight but very even, which shows skilled talent in a stylist, but soon I will probably try and do it myself.  Sometimes I don't communicate what I want very well I guess although I did bring pictures.  My weird medium-reddish brown natural color can be difficult to work with.  

Here are a couple of shots Husband took of me a week ago.

The Oh Johnny! Girls have been killing it lately and it feels good.  We had a great show last weekend.  A photographer came out to do photos for an article in next months Distinctly Oklahoma magazine and I'm excited to see them.  We've got a few things coming up, a show at the Blue Note on October 15th and we're playing on a moving vehicle at the Ghouls Gone Wild parade.  FUN.  

I'm excited for the weekend!  We're going to a movie tomorrow night and going to my in-laws on Saturday to watch the big OU/TX game.  They just finished a huge renovation/add on to their home and I'm super pumped to watch the game on a HUGE flatscreen, eat good fun, and play with babies.  Must plan Jack's OU outfit now.

I can't remember if I told you about my solo show thing.  It was fun.  It was weird.  I was nervous for the first time in years.  I had my PA system set up in my dining room and practiced here and there.  Jack loves the microphone.  He would sing his Night Night song before bedtime and look so satisfied and proud of himself.  My little heart feels so big when I see that look on his face.

A, B, C, D, Night night time!

Did you know you can make the alphabet song into a song about anything you want to?

Jack does.

♥ jp

parties every night.

He said he was driving like Daddy and then answered his pretend phone while honking the horn.  He was a little tired to be in a restaurant so I brought him out to the truck to pretend drive.  Today we played, we watched a movie, we had dinner, we shared a little bit of cheesecake, and we played with trucks.  It's been a nice Sunday but I wish Husband were here to hang out with us.  He's umpiring a game but should be back soon.  

Before the weekend started, I did my own nails.  This is the sort of thing that happens when I get bored.  I liked it!  They were pretty much ruined after my show on Friday night but it was super easy to do so I'll be doing some experimenting. 

Remember the gold shorts?  They finally made an appearance this weekend.  I was going to wear them to the show but decided to wear a dress instead. 

I went Forever 21 (forever 30?) shopping and couldn't decide if I liked this top or not so I didn't get it.  Still undecided so that probably means I made the right decision.  (Until fall rolls around and I remember that I didn't buy this and need it.)

I definitely didn't buy this electric yellow cheetah print tank top.  I thought-  if I were Jack, would I be embarrassed of my mom?  Yes.  Probably.  So I put it back.  The sacrifices we make...

I was on a hunt in my closet to find something to wear to my show when I found this dress.  I bought it at Lucca months ago to wear to some sort of event but never wore it.  How did I forget about this fantastic dress?  No, you can't wear a bra with it and yes, it shows a little side boob.  So what.

What a great turn out we had!  We played some new songs too.  It just feels so good to play.  We're going to be featured in another magazine-  not sure when but you'll hear about it on here at some point.  We're getting new merch, our album will finally be on itunes, and we'll be playing out of state a lot more this fall.  Lots to look forward to.

Ryan Lawson took this photo of us. 

The birthday party we hosted turned out great.  Mostly people I didn't know but everyone was super nice and respectful of our home.  We didn't have much to clean up at the end of the night.  The food was a big hit and the margarita machine was pretty cool.  I mostly drank cups and cups of water all weekend long so I may open that bottle of champagne that was left here.  *Kelli, I'll get you back, girl!  Mama needs a little Sunday drink to go with new episodes of Keeping Up with the Kardashians and Entourage.  Did you know that I eat a little popcorn every single night?  Champagne is a nice little treat to add to my treat.  *popcorn is not TAM approved but she'll have to deal with it!

Oh yeah, I ended up wearing the gold shorts, a t-shirt and black velvet heels to the party.  Because you care so much about what I wear in my own house and stuff.  I mean, you know...

Husband has liked falling asleep outside lately.  This was after everyone left the party.  It took me a while to wake him.  One time I left him out there because I could not, for the life of me, get him to come to bed!  Pretty funny.  

Jack doesn't have school all week so we'll be playing all day, every day!  I'm sure I'll have a ton of cute photos of him to post soon.  Have a lovely week.

♥ jp