cat power.

Lynx stealthily cruises the house, petting herself on pieces of furniture.  When I say her name, she runs at full speed from across the living room and dives her whole body up my leg.  OMG.  This cat gives running hugs like Jack!  This will prove amusing in the coming months.  Something about fall and winter.  Chili, butternut squash lasagna, delicious heavy beer, wine, soft throws, comfy sweaters, spicy vanilla and pumpkin candles, roaring fires, netflix, and cuddle cats.  Leo has just emerged from his hiding spot in the linen cabinet.  He walked by the table and gave me a nudge with the side of his beige-y amber head as he made his way to find the litter box.  He likes me, I just know it.

My friends, Dave and Devon, are moving to Japan and had to make the difficult decision to leave 2 of their cats behind.  I had offered to take them a while back but I was too late.  They already had a new home.  It's sad it didn't work out with the other family but I think they will be great here.  Jack told everyone at school this morning that he gets new cats today.  He's very excited, a little concerned though.

You may remember my dear Jackson kitty.  He was my best friend for almost 10 years and it's been over a year since he's been gone.  I still miss that damn cat every day.  Before the new cats arrived this morning, I got teary thinking about my Jaxie.  I started to worry that maybe I wasn't ready for cat friends, that it might make me even more sad because my beloved cat is gone.  No cat friend can replace him (especially because he saw me through everything in my 20's and that will never be replicated! thank the lord.)  but I'm hoping Leo and Lynx will be my happy little buddies.  I forget how it feels to have animals roaming the house-  it makes me feel calm, happy, and safe.  Why safe?  No idea.  I always feel safe when Jack is home with me too-  like if someone comes to break in again, he'll go all HELL NO on them.  Oh, giggling thinking about it.

-Re-upload Maddox photos for the 3rd time and hope it works this time.

-Work my ass off with Tracy Anderson.  (baby-food-like detox diet this week.  ugh.)

-Mat and frame Angela's piece for the art show.

-Clean the office.

-Pick Jack up from school and hope he's been a good boy all day.

-Call Grams.

-Order Husband's costume.  (whether he likes it or not!)  

-Work on my Sweet Action Paradise book.  I'm having the blog printed like a hardback book so Jack can have it when he's older.   I've been formatting and moving and tinkering and blah!  It's time consuming and a pain in my ass.

I've got lots of little things to do today so I'd better quit my ramblin.  

Call or text me if you feel like hanging out this evening/tonight.

♥ jp

Hiahwahnah loves John.

Grandpa.

My grandma says on the way home from the doctor's office, she pounded his chest, uncontrollably sobbing and yelling at him.  Grandpa later told my Great Uncle Robbie that he felt a great sense of pride when she reacted that way.  She had been telling him for a long time to go to the doctor, to get check-ups, to take care of himself.  Being a typical male, my grandpa put it off.  Now he had cancer that had spread all over and she didn't want to see him to go.  She was mad and hurt.  

During my weekly visits to the nursing home, she tells me how much she misses him every single day.  That she thinks of him often and wishes she could talk to him, wishes she could see him.  That she doesn't know how she found such a great man to love her, to be patient with her completely impatient personality, and wonders out loud what she did to deserve him.  

She asked me to imagine being next to someone for 51 years and one day they're just gone.  Tears pushed against the walls of my eyelids but I took deep breaths to push them back for fear I would upset her.  I know she's lonely.  We often daydream together-  I will win the lottery and build a big house with a nice, big room and wheelchair accessible bathroom.  She'll have private home healthcare and we'll catch up every day and eat Hershey's Kisses and drink root beer.  On special occasions, or just because, we would listen to music and she would do her cute shoulder dance, the one she's done for years.  

I always worried that in the years to come, I wouldn't quite remember her stories by heart or I would forget the details that make them special but then I realized when I can't sleep at night, I close my eyes and think of arriving at her house when I was a child.  I've done it for years without realizing it was a habit I guess.  

Grams.

The trip to her house in Durant in the back of a station wagon, mom listening to music on the way, pulling up onto the broken concrete driveway, our pretend "grenades" dropped from the big magnolia tree limbs hanging above, Grandma would be waiting on the front porch for us to arrive, the sound of the front door opening, the faint sweet smell of tobacco, walking through the dining room, past the nutcracker on top of the built-in bench with hidden storage and past the china cabinet, to the breakfast nook in the kitchen where Grandpa read the paper.  Eating potato chips out of a wooden salad bowl before bedtime was a ritual for me.  Small winding wooden staircase to the attic which led to dusty old games like chinese checkers and Don't Spill the Beans. Grams' and Grandpa's hats hanging in the hallway before you pass the pantry door and the buffet with the stained glass lamp and photos on top. I spent a lot of time sewing and making crafts in the back room.  Playing dress up with my cousins.  Got my first perm in that kitchen by my Aunt Merrilee.  Made candles out of crayons and holiday sugar cookies with my Mom.  Shaved my legs for the first time sitting on the edge of the green claw foot tub.  Piano and neat treasures in the study.  Always looked forward to people watching while on the porch swing with my brothers and cousins.  Swinging as high as we could and frequently getting in trouble for hitting the back of the swing on the house.  I remember feeling so safe and comfortable sleeping on a little fold out sleeper with crisp, fresh sheets and that big, fluffy floral and white comforter in the front bedroom, the walls covered in pink floral fabric.  It would be so quiet at night, we would whisper and giggle to each other until we fell asleep to the distant sound of the train.  It's funny how I remember wondering where the train was going and where it had come from and I still think the same thing when I hear a far away whistle of a train from my house.

Please don't forget what treasures your grandparents are.  Remember that they've lived through a lot, seen a lot, accomplished many things, had good times and bad times.  There's a lot of interesting things to learn about older people if you just ask.  Sometimes they get lonely because no one really talks to them about anything besides medical problems.  Just the other day, my Grandma told me a story about having a couple too many highballs at Grandpa's cousin's house and being sick all the way home.  Giggles...   

And I love that my son loves his Nana.  When I take him to visit, he likes to wheel her to the dining hall and then he doesn't want to leave.  Very, very sweet.

♥  jp

fast as you.

Baby is sick again! We have this stuff every other week. He's had a fever and a baby seal cough/bark. He's in good spirits though. I hope he gets better soon so we can get back to outside playtime.

below: Baby spent a boy's night with my father-in-law. My mother-in-law is in Alabama visiting family for the week. Baby came home with a new fishing pole and some new toy trucks and he's VERY happy with his new stuff. Husband and I had a grocery-store-sushi date in the parking lot of the IGA food market.
below: I swear the sushi is pretty awesome. They make a soy steak sushi roll that is my new favorite thing.

Friday night, we had a hard time deciding between going out for a drink or staying in and watching Friday Night Lights. We went to Blu. I had a martini. Husband had a Pimm's Cup. We went home and watched Friday Night Lights.

above & below: We played at Belle Isle Brewery on Saturday night. We had a great turnout and a lot of fun.
below: Sunday we watched Friday Night Lights episodes all afternoon and the Thunder/Nuggets game at night.

That's all i have time for now. Doing a lot of re-arranging at home. Maybe I'll do more than 1 post this week, we'll see!

♥ jp

Ummm... yeah.

I really want to write a stupid bio here but I can't write one for myself. This game is already stupid (yet mildly entertaining) as it is. You should write one, send it to me and I'll post it. Thanks, without you I would be nothing.

Ok, I'm not a senior in high school but the clerk at 711 the other day told me she thought I was 20, maybe 21 years old. That lady is a liar and she rules. Or maybe she could read my childish, bratty thoughts, like a vampire. I watch too much HBO and discuss too much Twilight with Anna. *I haven't read Twilight, I sit and listen when Anna feels the need to discuss the details of these vampires and werewolves lives. I like the werewolves, myself. Surprise, surprise.

I had many messages and emails about posting a "senior pic" of myself- for a second, I thought it would be funny to post my real senior picture but then I decided that wouldn't be funny, it would be embarrassing. We had band rehearsal today, so Sandy took some photos of me doing funny things in her front yard while her neighbors watched. At one point, I crawled towards the camera with a flower in my mouth and one hand up in claw-like position, like a stealthy cheetah. I would post that one but come on, that's just ridiculous. This picture of Tornado Timmy, on the other hand= not ridiculous.
You know what I was really like in high school? Almost all of my friends were in college. I hated to see kids picking on nerdy kids who wouldn't stand up for themselves so I would do it for them. I wasn't shy about being mean when people deserved it. I took my little brother to elementary school in the morning and to soccer practice after school. I mainly ate nachos for 4 years and somehow stayed 110 pounds. I was very quiet around people I didn't know. I liked to handwrite letters- even back then. I didn't drink. I daydreamed a lot. (I guess I still do.) I loved records, shoes, Vogue, and antiques. I was a horrible singer. My best friend, Angela had an old Toyota named Gloria (after the patti smith song) and we would drive out around the river, listen to music and talk about boys. My other bff, Alison, drove an old Ford Escort- a hatchback named Velouria after the Pixies' song- and we would drive to McDonald's after school where my best-friend-who-was-a boy-worked. We would write silly love letters to him and sign them: The Red Mistress. The people at McDonald's didn't know it was us for a pretty long time. They had every letter pinned up on a board in the back. Man I wish I had those. Would totally scan and post them. That reminds me... we once went inside that McDz and found an enema sitting in a booth. Just sitting there. Lonely and forgotten by someone who needed----i don't know- a place to use it? WTF? Yeah, it was so gross, but so funny. Wow, we need to revisit old high school memories more often. I have a lot of good ones.

I'll quit boring you with things that only I care about. You know, you think some of your experiences are fun to tell to other people until you realize they're just waiting for their turn to talk. Or that's how I feel most of the time. That's why I like to ask people a lot of questions and learn about their lives, because I hate that feeling and I don't want to be one of those people. But you know what? This my blaaaaahg and i can talk about myself if I want to. So there.

And one more funny picture that's totally not ridiculous...
I would like to thank Photoshop for entertaining me when I get bored and can't sleep.

You're pal,

jp