You Give Me Fever.

It's late. I'm awake. My right ear hurts.Can't breathe through my nose. Sinus pressure. Snuck out of bed to clean up Jack's toys in the living room and start the dishwasher. See? Productive even with a fever. Glancing occasionally at Sixteen Candles on TV in between browsing blogs and online shopping sites. Waiting for this week to pass so this sickness will pass. Jack has been home from school all week- he is the little monster who got me sick. But I don't mind. In the middle of the night, when your baby is coughing and crying for you, you hold him. You let him cough and breathe in your face. You don't even care when he sneezes on you. You repeatedly wipe a stream of snot away with something called a "boogie wipe." (i didn't think i would ever buy those things but i swear, they're pretty handy when you have sick babies.) Things that sound disgusting before you have kids are things you don't even think twice about once you have them. 

Jack started on medicine yesterday and today seems to be an improvement. Even though Jack is my best buddy, I think we both need to see a little sunshine and get out of the house. Maybe spend a little time apart even. We need adventure.

Jack was happy when Aunt Hannah came to town! 

We took Jack to Local for the first time a few weeks ago and he loved it. We checked him into "Localville" and it was a HUGE hit. Local is one of our favorite places to eat and/or drink here in Norman, Oklahoma. Localville is a fun place the kids can play and eat (supervised of course!) while you enjoy dinner with friends or a date night or whatever. It's the most brilliant idea. 

Husband had a birthday recently. We stayed in a suite at The Mayo in Tulsa. Can I live there, please?  My mom told me a sweet story about how my grandma and grandpa stayed there once when she was a child and they brought back stationary for her. She loved to look at it- there was a picture or drawing maybe? of the building on the paper. Thinking about my mom as a child (Baby Susan as I like to call her) is so adorable. I need to scan some pictures of Baby Susan so you can see what I mean. I swiped the notepad from our room to give to her but- there is no picture of the building. 

Also, I'm pretty sure that place is haunted. 

It's been a few weeks but I went on a little trip with my dad. We flew to LA to visit my brothers and sisters-in-law. We didn't rush around. Didn't stay out late. We didn't even get drunk once. We ate delicious food, went to a cemetery that smelled like dead people, took a tour of Paramount, drove to San Diego, and saw Django Unchained at Q. Tarantino's theatre. It was awesome. Of course I missed my boys- this was the first time I've been away from both of them at the same time for longer than a day. I will say- it was pretty relaxing not having to take care of anyone else though. I appreciate the little things, folks.

Ok, I think maybe I got a little buzz from drinking a flight of beer at this place.
(Pathetic, Brooke. Get your shit together, girl.)

This is my dad. His favorite things to talk about are art, traveling, history, and death. And his grandchildren.
And Facebook.

Ok. Time to raid the medicine cabinet for something that will make my fever go away.

Toodles.

♥ jp

Mr. ♥ Mrs.

This old Hallmark box sitting on my table doesn't look like anything special, it's hunter green with pictures of Christmas cards on the front.  Inside are 34 pieces of treasure.  I pick up the first one and it feels as if it may crumble in my hands.  I carefully navigate a piece of faded brown paper, which has been folded twice to make it the size of an index card, out of the torn edge of a tattered envelope.  There's a three cent stamp and two addresses on the front of the envelope-  Box 721, Dewar, Okla. and Mrs. John H. Work, Boswell, Okla.  

The ink that was probably once black in 1940 has settled into a deep navy, strewn in perfectly straight lines of magic.  It's not like bunny in a hat magic.  The kind that Little Girl Jaguar Paw daydreamed about finding someday-  I'm not talking about the last unicorn although I did daydream about that as well.  You know, the kind of thing the greats wrote poetry about.  The thing all of my favorite songs are written about.             ...shoot, the thing I write all of my songs about.  

Today I'm sharing two letters from my Paw Paw to his darling.  My grandma.  She misses him every day.  She still wears his glasses even though they're broken.  One of his shirts hangs in her armoire at the nursing home.  

Be thankful for the time you have with the people you love.

September 18, 1940

Dewar, Okla.

My Darling Hiahwahnah:

I'm so lonesome for you. Golly- It seems like I love you more and more every day. I want to see you so badly. If I can get any money, I will be down this week and I think mother and Robbie are both broke. I wish there was some way for you to come up here.

I went hunting yesterday afternoon with Peck and Monk. We left here about 3:00 and went out east of here about 16 miles. We walked the birds up until the sun started going down and then went to a pond and waited for them to fly in to water. We got 42.

Last night Peck and R. and I went to the show. We saw "I love You Again"- with Myrna Loy and Will Powell. It was a swell picture. If I ever get a chance, I'm going to see it again.


I'm going in to see a guy about a job in a little while. This afternoon I have to make some signs advertising R.'s football team. R. thinks they are going to win all of their games this year. I hope they do.


We are invited to Aunt Daisy's tonight for supper. She said she wished so much that you were here and could come too. So do I. Russell and Aunt Daisy all think so much of you. They say I'm a darn lucky guy to get a girl like you. I know I'm lucky. You are so sweet and beautiful and good. I love you bunches and more than anything on earth. Please darling, don't ever stop loving me.


Gee! I'm so glad that we are married. I will be perfectly happy just as soon as we start living together. Be a good girl and remember, no love scenes in that play.


                                                                                                            All my love,
                                                                                                            John

Paw Paw, Grams, and my Uncle John

(photo taken somewhere around 1944 I'm guessing.)

Dewar, Okla.

September 24, 1940

My Darling Hiahwahnah:

I was so glad to receive your letter this morning.  I was awfully worried about you.  Geepers-  I'm so much in love with you.  You are all I can think of.  I couldn't go to sleep last night because I kept thinking about you and wanting you bunches.

I am enclosing a clipping from the Okmulgee paper about our marriage.  I thought you might like to have it and show it to your folks.

It is now 10 min. until four o'clock.  I guess you are leaving school for the day or getting ready to leave.  I wish I was out in front of the building waiting for you.  Darling, doesn't it seem like a long time until Friday?  I can hardly wait to see you.

I'm so awfully much in love with my wife.  I think you are the most beautiful girl on earth.  You are so darn sweet and precious.  I wish you were here now.  It is cloudy and almost cold.  I have the fire turned on.  If you were here I would take you to bed with me and hold you close in my arms and kiss you bunches and be awfully fresh.  Do you think you would like that?

We are having supper with Aunt Daisy tonight.  Afterwards R. and I are going up to Mr. Lamb's to play bridge with Mr. Lamb and Pick.  He (Mr. Lamb) said that if we would come, he would serve ice cream and cokes.

R. just came in with one of his football players who he believes has a broken arm.  He wants me to take him to the doctor.  Guess I better hurry.  The darn kid looks like he's going to faint.  -Be a sweet girl and write me lots. 

                                                                                                       All my love,

                                                                                                       John

It's Thanksgiving and I'm thankful love exists in the world.  And that my Paw Paw told my Grams he wanted to get "fresh" with her.  Giggles.
♥ jp

Hiahwahnah loves John.

Grandpa.

My grandma says on the way home from the doctor's office, she pounded his chest, uncontrollably sobbing and yelling at him.  Grandpa later told my Great Uncle Robbie that he felt a great sense of pride when she reacted that way.  She had been telling him for a long time to go to the doctor, to get check-ups, to take care of himself.  Being a typical male, my grandpa put it off.  Now he had cancer that had spread all over and she didn't want to see him to go.  She was mad and hurt.  

During my weekly visits to the nursing home, she tells me how much she misses him every single day.  That she thinks of him often and wishes she could talk to him, wishes she could see him.  That she doesn't know how she found such a great man to love her, to be patient with her completely impatient personality, and wonders out loud what she did to deserve him.  

She asked me to imagine being next to someone for 51 years and one day they're just gone.  Tears pushed against the walls of my eyelids but I took deep breaths to push them back for fear I would upset her.  I know she's lonely.  We often daydream together-  I will win the lottery and build a big house with a nice, big room and wheelchair accessible bathroom.  She'll have private home healthcare and we'll catch up every day and eat Hershey's Kisses and drink root beer.  On special occasions, or just because, we would listen to music and she would do her cute shoulder dance, the one she's done for years.  

I always worried that in the years to come, I wouldn't quite remember her stories by heart or I would forget the details that make them special but then I realized when I can't sleep at night, I close my eyes and think of arriving at her house when I was a child.  I've done it for years without realizing it was a habit I guess.  

Grams.

The trip to her house in Durant in the back of a station wagon, mom listening to music on the way, pulling up onto the broken concrete driveway, our pretend "grenades" dropped from the big magnolia tree limbs hanging above, Grandma would be waiting on the front porch for us to arrive, the sound of the front door opening, the faint sweet smell of tobacco, walking through the dining room, past the nutcracker on top of the built-in bench with hidden storage and past the china cabinet, to the breakfast nook in the kitchen where Grandpa read the paper.  Eating potato chips out of a wooden salad bowl before bedtime was a ritual for me.  Small winding wooden staircase to the attic which led to dusty old games like chinese checkers and Don't Spill the Beans. Grams' and Grandpa's hats hanging in the hallway before you pass the pantry door and the buffet with the stained glass lamp and photos on top. I spent a lot of time sewing and making crafts in the back room.  Playing dress up with my cousins.  Got my first perm in that kitchen by my Aunt Merrilee.  Made candles out of crayons and holiday sugar cookies with my Mom.  Shaved my legs for the first time sitting on the edge of the green claw foot tub.  Piano and neat treasures in the study.  Always looked forward to people watching while on the porch swing with my brothers and cousins.  Swinging as high as we could and frequently getting in trouble for hitting the back of the swing on the house.  I remember feeling so safe and comfortable sleeping on a little fold out sleeper with crisp, fresh sheets and that big, fluffy floral and white comforter in the front bedroom, the walls covered in pink floral fabric.  It would be so quiet at night, we would whisper and giggle to each other until we fell asleep to the distant sound of the train.  It's funny how I remember wondering where the train was going and where it had come from and I still think the same thing when I hear a far away whistle of a train from my house.

Please don't forget what treasures your grandparents are.  Remember that they've lived through a lot, seen a lot, accomplished many things, had good times and bad times.  There's a lot of interesting things to learn about older people if you just ask.  Sometimes they get lonely because no one really talks to them about anything besides medical problems.  Just the other day, my Grandma told me a story about having a couple too many highballs at Grandpa's cousin's house and being sick all the way home.  Giggles...   

And I love that my son loves his Nana.  When I take him to visit, he likes to wheel her to the dining hall and then he doesn't want to leave.  Very, very sweet.

♥  jp

oh wait.

Every day, Jack watches Sesame Street in the morning, gives a minimum of 5 "running hugs" throughout the day, names off all the people he loves-  one by one, wants pizza for dinner, watches Rio at bedtime with a snack, and lately has wanted to wear this pull-over hoodie every morning.  The weather has been awesome.  Much needed.  Stress relieving. Cool air goodness.   Hoodie it is, baby's choice.

He must wear a hat under the actual hood though.  His idea, not mine, but very cute.

Jack's first day of skipping school.  He asked what I was going to do while he was at school and decided that he wanted to go too.  Off to Gram's we go.  He carefully picked out and packed a baggie full of crayons, 2 coloring books, 1 marker, alphabet magnets to play with on Gram's mini fridge, sunglasses, a hat, and asked that we put together a lunch for him like I do when he goes to school.  Turkey, graham crackers, and a Kraft single.  He was pumped.

We visited, we made Gram's bed for her, we took a little list of things she needs (Hershey's Kisses), and pushed her down to the dining hall.  Jack gave her a big hug, said wuv you, and stuck out his plump little baby cheek for her to kiss.  We made it to the fish tank when he decided maybe he didn't want to leave just yet.  I told him he could stay and live with Gram's and he playfully told me he was going to.  I started to walk away and took the picture above.  He's staring at the dining hall, wondering if he really wanted to stay and if I would really leave him there.  "MOMMY MOMMY!  I CHANGE MY MIND!!!"  He ran to me and put his little hand in mine.  Off we go. 

Song HERE.  Part of a cover anyway.

Yes, I need to straighten these frames, I know.  I frame Jack's abstract work and hang it around the house.  Someday I hope to have a wall full of them.  Jack looks at them up on the wall with so much pride and satisfaction.

My hair hurts.  When you wear your hair in a bun all day for 4 days straight, it hurts when you take it down.  My laziness is making my hair hurt and that's just stupid.

Ok.  No game this weekend.  Nothing exciting really happening at all-  which, in itself is pretty dang exciting.  

Oh wait.  We have grandparent babysitters on Friday and Saturday night.  Not sure what we'll get in to just yet but excited to find something.  Jack is VERY excited to make the rounds this weekend.

♥ jp

no. really. kick me out.

Jack and I went to see Grams this morning.

Jack and I went to lunch at Iguana with our beloved Hannah.

While waiting for our table, Jack yelled "KICK ME OUT!" over and over and over.

Jack threw beans and rice everywhere, proudly and with enthusiasm.

Jack kicked the table and shoved it into Hannah- over and over and over.

Jack yelled at a guy sitting near us, telling him that he was going to pinch him.

Jack told Hannah the guy behind us was going to pay for lunch.

Jack threw a tantrum and I recorded it on video and played it back for him.

He did not appreciate it.

Finally got out of the restaurant.  (everyone probably cheered.)

Jack found the one spot of mud on the ground and dug his fingers into it.

I picked him up and he spit on me.

Buckled him in his seat and he fell asleep in 5 minutes.

It's really hard sometimes but could be harder.

Oh.  There we go.

My favorite shirt, already covered in spit and queso, just tore.

There's good news too though.

BFF Dave called and we're going to have a drink this evening.

HURRAY!

You will be happy to know-  I think the gross water thing works.  I've been drinking it for 4 days now and I seem to be much less puffy.  Or maybe this is all in my mind.  No idea.  I'm a girl.  I'm delusional. 

Jack is very serious about driving the grocery cart truck around homeland.  Man, that thing is kind of embarrassing to push around but it makes my chicken happy so onward we push!  I think we're way past embarrassing at this point in parenthood anyway.  

Beep! Beep!  Have a nice weekend.
♥ jp

classically trained.

So now my mom thinks I only drink coconut water and that I never eat anything.  I recieved a concerned phone call.  Trust me, Mom, I eat.  I just ate a bunch of pretzels.  And before that, I had some animal crackers.  And before that, I had a couple bites of Jack's grilled cheese.  And before that, I had cereal.  This afternoon I made macaroni and cheese for dinner-  it's ready to go in the oven.  Real mac'n'cheese with cheddar, mozzerella, gouda, cream, milk, flour, butter, and salt.  I plan on making fried okra, green beans, and biscuits in a little bit.  And chicken for the boys.  I ate pizza last night.  And popcorn, of course.  I don't feel dieter's guilt when I eat something f'n delicious.  I thought we already went over this?  I eat very healthy-  lots of fresh veggies and fruit, yogurt, green tea, water, and wine.  Lots of spinach and arugula with tomatoes, craisins, and olive oil lately.  So there.  I'm not starving myself nor do I look like I'm starving myself.  Silly.

This kid isn't starving either.  He's got a lunchable stuffed in his mouth in this photo.  He's been extra sweet this week, our special mommy/baby week together.  We've played a lot of guitar and are learning piano together.  I don't think we're actually learning anything yet but we like to pretend.  Don't judge us, we're lazy sometimes.

I look so mean in this picture!  I'm so tough!  Not really.  It's habit.  I have this really annoying birth defect known as dimples and it makes me look like a little girl.  I don't mind it so much now but I used to be really self conscious about it when I was younger.  You will never see me sing (i sound like a 6 year old) and smile at the same time.  Little girl overload.  

Took Jack to visit my Grams.  He ate most of her Hershey's Kisses and showed her how to color in his coloring book.  He was very serious about it.  Jack walks around like he owns that nursing home.

Just found out I'm getting a massage tomorrow afternoon.  I can't wait!!!!!!!!  TAM never stops making you sore.  Last night I made myself a dirty vodka martini to deal with the pain in my ass, shoulders, and ribs.  And then I On Demanded The Notebook for $1.  I say On Demanded is a verb so don't look at me like that.  Laugh all you want but you know it's a good movie.  

I'm going to read the new Elle Decor mag now.  I lead a very exciting life.  If you want to bring a bottle of wine over to my house, I won't complain.

♥  jp

see the waves.

Husband insisted we buzz Jack's hair. I was against it but sometimes it's just better to let him do something harmless to see that I'm right 98% of the time. Jack has asked me for 2 days to put his hair back. He's still the most handsome boy in the world. Do I think my child is exceptionally good looking purely because he's my kid? It's possible but I doubt it. Strangers stop us in public and comment on how gorgeous he is. Other mothers have told me that they think their kids are cute but then they see Jack and are in awe of his cuteness. And then he speaks to them in that deep, booming voice of his and Jack has just won the Baby of Babies contest hands down. Don't tell him I said any of this, I don't want him to be spoiled and vain growing up.

I wish I had bought 2 of these shirts and maybe one in a different color. I wear it all the time. Favorite shirt. Winter, Spring, Summer, and Fall. It's from the Gap.
Baby Jack and I spent the morning in Edmond visiting Grams. I read mail to her and brought her a cappuccino from Starbucks as usual. Jack ran around like a crazy person until I sat him down with a Handi-Snack- crackers with cheese dip- the one with the little red stick to spread the cheese? He was very impressed with this red stick and sat quietly dipping and eating for a few minutes. Jack likes pushing Grams' wheelchair to the dining hall and the residents like to see him run around the tables, squealing, laughing and yelling.

Muscle spasms in my right shoulder blade. Finally watched Inception and it's filtered into my dreams. I saw an owl in a tree in the middle of the day yesterday which is a bad sign. Saw my grandpa last night while I was sleeping. I've thought about picking up my guitar but haven't this week. I saw 3 baby kittens running around my back porch at night- GO AWAY, CUTE KITTENS, I CAN'T KEEP YOU!

♥ jp